— Timmy, Abe Lincoln sketch (via wkukquotes)

— Trent Reznor sketch (via wkukquotes)

— Abe Lincoln sketch (via wkukquotes)

The Wisdom of The Whitest Kids U’ Know

comedynerdsunited:

by CNU Editor Kari.

Last night marked the very last episode of The Whitest Kids U’ Know. All good things must come to an end and nothing either eases or worsens mourning like looking back. Like the other greats of sketch comedy, WKUK taught us so much and we nerds should be forever grateful for the well of knowledge their tongue-in-cheek world has shared with us. Including, but not limited to:

• Abe Lincoln was hammered in the ass so much that he died from being hammered in the ass.

• Pizza’s not for breakfast.

• There are some things you can tell your teacher to get a new daddy.

• Peter Frampton is dead and so are all of his grandchildren.

• Demons can’t cuss and the devil can’t punish anyone unjustly.

• A.D.D. actually means you just crave attention.

• If you give a million dollars to a stripper, you’ll get hamburgers, if she’s weird.

• When the fairy of womanhood arrives, rationality leaves. You can’t have both.

• Don’t pull your dick out on Mount Everest.

• You can’t get cancer in your breast, there’s no bone there.

• A lot of innocent bystanders were killed in Terminator 2.

• Ozzfest would not be affected by the alien abduction of the world’s smart people.

• If you wear purple, you’re asking to be graped.

• If you have to eat people to survive, don’t be homophobic. Eat their dicks too.

• The pope is only allowed two root beers a day.

• The Pledge of Allegiance is not a form of brainwashing.

• God wants you to wear a hat.

• The Civil War was really won by guys who thought it was all about marijuana.

So let us thank the Whitest Kids U’ Know for five years of enlightening comedy!

The Wisdom of The Whitest Kids U’ Know

comedynerdsunited:

by CNU Editor Kari.

Last night marked the very last episode of The Whitest Kids U’ Know. All good things must come to an end and nothing either eases or worsens mourning like looking back. Like the other greats of sketch comedy, WKUK taught us so much and we nerds should be forever grateful for the well of knowledge their tongue-in-cheek world has shared with us. Including, but not limited to:

• Abe Lincoln was hammered in the ass so much that he died from being hammered in the ass.

• Pizza’s not for breakfast.

• There are some things you can tell your teacher to get a new daddy.

• Peter Frampton is dead and so are all of his grandchildren.

• Demons can’t cuss and the devil can’t punish anyone unjustly.

• A.D.D. actually means you just crave attention.

• If you give a million dollars to a stripper, you’ll get hamburgers, if she’s weird.

• When the fairy of womanhood arrives, rationality leaves. You can’t have both.

• Don’t pull your dick out on Mount Everest.

• You can’t get cancer in your breast, there’s no bone there.

• A lot of innocent bystanders were killed in Terminator 2.

• Ozzfest would not be affected by the alien abduction of the world’s smart people.

• If you wear purple, you’re asking to be graped.

• If you have to eat people to survive, don’t be homophobic. Eat their dicks too.

• The pope is only allowed two root beers a day.

• The Pledge of Allegiance is not a form of brainwashing.

• God wants you to wear a hat.

• The Civil War was really won by guys who thought it was all about marijuana.

So let us thank the Whitest Kids U’ Know for five years of enlightening comedy!