I don’t believe in you. I don’t believe in you.
Abraham Lincoln was actually hammered in the ass so much that he died from being hammered in the ass.
— Timmy, Abe Lincoln sketch (via wkukquotes)
“Now, take a look at these numbers. How much money does the average person have? A hundred dollars. Now, what we’re gonna do is take that number, and divide that by a hundred, and what does that leave us with? Zero! And there’s your interest.”
… What. Okay, but only because you’re so beautiful.
